Ice Flue Chapter 18

The ironic thing was that Stan had ordered a rope ladder just last week.

As they watched the condo burn, Stan laced an arm through Elizabeth Dracula’s violet silk shawl, failing to find flesh or even skeletal limbs.

Cheryl Chillingworth screamed while burning alive, still trapped inside the condo, her horrified visage pressed against the living room window as flaming clouds burst from her ears.

Their glass baby hovered above the condo as the purple fluid of Cheryl’s Blood Lust serum and the blue fluid of Stan’s Ice Flue throughout his limbs, crossing but never intermingling as if confined to tubes.

“There wasn’t time,” Stan explained. “And I’d ordered a rope ladder just last week. Only I hadn’t any time to install it.”

Elizabeth Dracula pulled up on the motorcycle, her head atop a seemingly empty purple silk sheet. “You don’t need to explain anything to me.” She revved off down the highway, passing billboards.

As she rode more recklessly, her silk purple cape flew off, revealing her ghostly body to be covered in icy spiderwebs and frozen animal tongues.

At the next billboard, Dayglo Arnie and the police officer lunged out, sweeping Elizabeth and Stan into a vast alien spaceship, on the floor of which 20 Dracun Lizards clutched their broken kneecaps, howling in pain.

“Welcome back, new recruits. You’ve been rebelling well,” Dayglo Arnie said, mashed up crickets dripping from his fangs. He offered a live one to police officer from a red popcorn bag.

“Can’t they both be my bunk mates?” The police officer opened its iron jaw, chomping on the remaining live crickets.