Archive | April, 2023

“Lost Teacher”

29 Apr

“Lost Teacher”

We might’ve heard
among things said
we could only communicate
through rumors, whistles
like you were struck by lightning
twice or thrice
or as if a windshield-smashing accident
could crack the road
these were explosions of our being
this was us: born teachers
the boyish athlete wanted to surge out of

on the evening of some talent show
on the same bases rounded
by Abbott and Costello
at blistering speeds, at amusement parks
in constellation school bus rides
to Misquamicut-washed twilights
who tied his bowling shoes
to telegraph poles and minimarts
a perfect evening spoiled
by the harpy cry,
of a movie theatre’s belittling dreams
as if to close his shutters
could renew a passion for theater
in the winking of a blinking
exit-stage-left-generous eye.

Paper Dungeon #1: “The Cave of Wysterical Pines,” a solo rpg zine game, released today

16 Apr
This is a campaign for Paper Dungeon.

A troll flying on a dragon has run off with your entire family. You were already running late to school. The goblin egg bread was burning. Snow threatened to peek through the pink, velvety clouds. Your favorite television show was on, Living with My Alien Family, so it was especially difficult to leave. You’d also been spending less and less time with your son and begun to grow sick of driving to work with the sun barely rising and then returning home after the sun had already set.

You are studying to be a stationmaster. You’ve always had the most delightful conversations on trains, surrounded by cigar smoke and cinnamon buns on your morning commute. A spare bit of jam is passed to you for your toast by a mechanical hand, more like the fist of a buzzard sprouting right out of one of those grandfather clocks modern trains are all abuzz with these days.

In this campaign you will visit “The Cave of Wysterical Pines.”

You may play this solo or with a group.
The .pdf contains a map to roll a d6 upon, a character sheet, descriptions and encounters for the six map locations, and methods to interact with this world using a d100. Be prepared to narrate, draw, or journal to make this world your own.

Grab a free copy or buy one if you dare….

Procedures for play-watching TEENAGE EXORCIST (1991; dir. Grant Austin Wolfman)

3 Apr

Procedures for play-watching TEENAGE EXORCIST (1991; dir. Grant Austin Wolfman):

1. Roll to see which character you will play as on the game collage board.

2. Roll a d50. Then pick the state you will be in from the United States.

3. Search houses to rent on a real estate rental website. Then pick the cheapest house to rent in the state. This will be your daily rent, not your monthly rent, in this game.

4. Roll a d100 to determine how many thousands of dollars you have in savings then divide this number by 5.

5. The object of this game is to stay in the house for 30 days.

6. Roll a d30. This number is your stress level. If you go above 30, you become a teenage exorcist for life and lose.

7. Every thousand dollars you go into debt, raise your stress level by 1.

8. Each day you stay in this house you follow this procedure:

  • a. Write one sentence or draw a quick sketch about what might happen next while watching the film.
  • b. Deduct daily rental amount from your total savings.
  • c. Write one sentence or draw a quick sketch about the struggles you face in your school or in your neighborhood living secretly as a teenage exorcist.
  • d. Roll on the following d6 table to determine what might be going wrong with your rented house:

9. Try to make it to the end of the film or to the end of 30 days (whichever comes first) before raising your stress level past 30.